STEPS TO AVOID THE JANUARY BLAHS!

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

The meaning of things lies
not in the things themselves...
but in our attitutude towards them.

--Antoine De Saint-Expuery

While there are many out there who remember the spiritual significance of Christmas and approach it with moderation, balance and modesty there are some who are drawn in to media hype and marketing ploys designed to create a ‘seasonal high.’ Over extensions of time, energy and money combined with lack of sleep, disruption of normal routines, and too much food in strange combinations frequently lead to an emotional hangover at the beginning of each New Year. To avoid the ‘January Blahs’ in 2007 here a few suggestions:

1. Maintain balance and moderation in all things. Nothing throws the system off like sleep deprivation or over-loading the body with too much food. After a big turkey dinner most can attest to the ‘sleepy’ feelings that come from protein overload and the calming effects of the amino acid tryptophan present in turkey. Being mindful of alcohol and food consumption can also prevent the overloaded feeling that builds up throughout the season and leads to emotional lows after all the celebrating is done.

2. Make time for fitness and fresh air and sunshine. Many people have a difficult time fitting daily exercise in under normal conditions. During hectic times like Christmas exercise is the last thing that comes to mind. My message is a different one. January is coming and the longer you stay away from your various routines, the harder it will be to get back to where you were. Why not start a new tradition with family and friends that includes some physical movement? It is a guaranteed way to avoid feeling stressed.

3. If you want to reduce the chances of a January low, try not to get hooked on ‘artificial highs.’ Christmas is celebrated by more than 3.5 billion people around the world and can be a great event if approached with realistic expectations, forethought and an ability to plan ahead. Meaningful gifts do not have to over-extend the budget and even though it sounds trite … it is the thought and effort that goes into gifts that is the important thing. Something baked or crafted with love and affection and exchanged with nice card and/or heartfelt expressions of affection often mean far more to the recipient than an extravagant gift based on material value alone. These types of gifts usually do not break the budget or lead to financial regret when credit card bills start to roll in after the artificial high and media hype of the holidays are over.

4. Be prepared for the re-surfacing of buried emotions. Family events often trigger buried emotions and can add to emotional lows. The challenge for each of us is to be courageous and committed to reaching a point where we are able to accept people for who they are … whether we agree with them or not. If a family member’s behavior is particularly upsetting, set boundaries. In the event they are not respected or the situation does not warrant open confrontation do your best to separate yourself or ignore them. Ignoring poor behavior is an effective way of disempowering it.

Participate. Make it your goal to experience the magic of giving because it truly is more blessed to give than receive. Giving can take many forms other than just the material. Stop and think about the actual meaning of Christmas and check to see whether your thoughts and actions are in line with that. The giving could include visiting and offering support to a less fortunate family, volunteering at a food bank or soup kitchen, canvassing for a favorite charity or cause or visiting a retirement home or hospital. Any of these ‘gifts’ could really make someone else’s day.

Give yourself the gift of ‘self-health.’ The gift of self-health begins with your own actions. Make a plan to eat less, (especially junk food, sugar, coffee and alcohol.) Keep water intake high (two to three liters per day) get adequate amounts of sleep, fresh air, sunshine and exercise. Then to top it off rent some funny movies and laugh, laugh … then laugh some more. Laughter releases endorphins that create a natural high and exercises the tummy muscles in ways that have been referred to as an ‘internal jog.’ If relationships need mending, forgiveness is a good place to start. Couple all that with an ‘attitude of gratitude’ for all that you have. What greater gift can you receive than to function at a high level and to flourish physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? There is no monetary amount that will ever replace good health and a sense of well-being.

Implementing all or part of the above suggestions will help maintain balance and prevent emotions from getting too high…or low. However, when all is said and done the best way to create an emotional high that will keep on as long as we practice it is to focus more on what we can do for others and less on what is not working in our own lives. The benefits will be yours to enjoy.

HEALTHY GIFT GIVING ANY TIME OF THE YEAR

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

The only gift is a portion of thyself.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Although Christmas is a magnificent time of year it can also create stress, mixed emotions and an over-extension of time, energy and money. How common are these scenarios? The holidays are fast approaching and there is a push to send out cards, buy and wrap gifts and meet a myriad of social commitments. Then there is always the problem of finding an appropriate gift for those who are hard to buy for. For many by the time the big day arrives some have already lost the “Christmas spirit.” Maybe it is time to consider giving gifts that promote healthy living for both the giver and the recipient. Listed below are a list of items and ideas that you can give to friends, family or yourself.

1. Gift certificate for massage, reflexology, pedicure, manicure or any other ‘self-health’ service
you can think of.
2. Subscription to a healthy living magazine
3. Basket of herbal teas
4. Gift certificate or container of goodies from your local health food store
5. Scented candles
6. Aromatherapy oils
7. Houseplants
8. Self-health books, CD’s or videos
9. Tickets to a play, opera or comedy show
10. Hand-held massager or vibrating back support
11. Relaxation music with positive affirmations or guided imagery
12.Exercise equipment or membership to a exercise facility
13. 14. Air or water purification systems
14. 15. Pre-paid housecleaning or baby sitting services
15. A card or letter letting a special someone know how their relationship enriches your life
16. Juicer
17. Specially prepared scrapbook of favorite memories and acknowledgments

My mom always told me that the true significance of any gift was not in the monetary value but rather in ‘how much love it cost.” Whenever we give gifts that promote ‘self-health’ it lets people know we care about their health, well-being and quality of life. And there is another bonus to them … the benefits of these gifts will continue long after the holiday season is over.

A TRUE GIFT..HOW MUCH LOVE DOES IT COST?

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.

--Pierre Cornelle

As year 2007 winds down and early signs of Christmas begin to show up in retail outlets I am beginning to feel ambivalence about the holidays this year. Christmas was always a momentous event in our family. Mom was born on Christmas Day, her brother on Christmas Eve—and I came in on New Year’s Eve. So needless to say celebrating the holidays with gusto was something mom started early in life. But this year a significant part of what made it special will be missing because mom passed away in April. With no kids of our own my husband David and I have been discussing ways to make this Christmas memorable as we hold on to mom’s legacy without her being a part of it all.

The one thing that will remain is the appreciation I feel for what she instilled in me about what gives meaning to life. Her way of counting blessings was referred to as attitude of gratitude. It is something that seems less prevalent than in the past. In conversations with others I am not the only one who is noticing that meaningful exchanges between people are less prevalent than they once were. This is especially so around the holiday season. The third week in December is considered a time of spiritual significance in many faiths whether Christian, Jewish or even those who commemorate the winter Equinox. As one year ends and other begins many across the planet come together to reflect about the past year and what possibilities lay ahead in the coming year. Within the rituals there is the joy of fellowship with friends, family and other loved ones…and it is all expressed within an attitude of gratitude. Right? Think again.

Mom always reminded me that the true value within any gift was determined by how much love and thought went into it—not the material cost. When I listen to how many shop with a different value system it doesn’t appear that gifts are given or received with that approach. No—these days it appears to be more about a numbers game. How much ‘cha-ching and bling” seems to be where the value is these days. With so much emphasis on the material rather than the spiritual those on the receiving end often take the massive spending for granted and through time gifts mean less. Watching customer services lines after Christmas is a big clue for me that many people are not buying gifts with the recipient in mind—or why would so many people return them? Perhaps there would be greater appreciation for the good in life if we slowed down and re-prioritized what really matters. It took me a long time for me to figure that one out—but as I am feeling less rushed things have a deeper significance than ever before.

Then there is the whole question of exchanging cards. Various postal outlets report that each year less come through the mail each year. That saddens me. What does it say about the pace of life if it is too hectic to set a few hours and pen a few words on a card? Sure stamps are getting more expensive—but how many cups of coffee would anyone have to give up covering the cost? Is it too much to let someone know that their presence in life is appreciated? Granted, some do make time to send out a mass e-mail or newsletter and that is one option. Better that then not doing anything at all. But is it just me—or are there others out there who think that nothing beats going to pick up mail on a frosty morning and discovering that someone you haven’t heard from in awhile is thinking about you and yours?

I enjoy scrap-booking and every card received is lovingly placed in my books. When I look back and re-read a card from a kindred spirit (for any occasion) the messages conveyed are warm fuzzies that keeps on giving. I feel the same way about hand-written notes. When someone is going through rough times a ‘thinking of you card’ goes a long way to brightening their day. Same thing goes for notes of appreciation sent for someone’s hospitality, or gifts received. Of course there are the other transitions we all go through, birthdays, deaths, weddings, anniversaries and anything else that is a right of passage.

In my opinion nothing is more meaningful than a handwritten note expressing an attitude of gratitude. I do hope this delightful way of letting others know that that who they are and what they do is appreciated. It is a simple thing, but in the increasing pace of society it is all too easy to take the good things for granted. Yet pausing for a moment and expressing appreciation adds much to the quality of life for both the giver and receiver. I am already beginning to prepare our holiday newsletter and doing Xmas shopping with all the thoughtful consideration I learned from Mom. Getting things done ahead of time gives me time to reflect on how much good there is in life amidst the global chaos and conflict. Within all of it there is still much to be grateful for if we only open our eyes to see it—and of course say it!

Works for me!